IS LOVE ENOUGH TO START AND KEEP A MARRIAGE

The answer is NO! Love is a feeling. It is something you cannot see and that is not concrete enough to build a marriage; although it is totally needed initially and every now and then during the course of marriage. Love-the-feeling comes from being open to someone; when that person is sensitive to your likes and dislikes, the feeling increases; but it takes more than a feeling to build or keep a marriage. To keep a marriage you need wisdom and wisdom is preceded by understanding. Therefore you need to understand your partner; without understanding, all that feeling will wear off.

I have to thank you as always for stopping-by and reading this write-ups; for your comments and feedback. Thank you! I hope this will not be a waste of your time.Let's get started. This question came to my mind and I thought we deal with it. Is love enough to start and keep a marriage?

The answer is NO! Love is a feeling. It is something you cannot see and that is not concrete enough to build a marriage; although it is totally needed initially and every now and then during the course of marriage. Love-the-feeling comes from being open to someone; when that person is sensitive to your likes and dislikes, the feeling increases; but it takes more than a feeling to build or keep a marriage. To keep a marriage you need wisdom and wisdom is preceded by understanding. Therefore you need to understand your partner; without understanding, all that feeling will wear off.

Let me explain better.

Every human being is made up of the body, soul and spirit. The soul comprises of the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. The soul is attached to the body via the conscious mind and that is the part that builds expectations for the soul. When you talk about standard: what you want your man/woman to look like and so on, its the conscious mind that builds that standard and with those expectation, the conscious mind builds a wall of defense. When you meet someone new, as you two begin to talk, gradually the conscious mind start to tick those boxes of expectation (if you are desperate, 'gradually' doesn't apply to you). After those boxes are ticked, if the person meets your spec, the conscious mind drops its guard and then the person's feeling sinks into your subconscious mind. This is the moment we claim to be in love; the moment we think and long to see him/her often.

The continuous thought of your partner in your subconscious mind is what creates that 'love feeling' because the subconscious mind is the seat of emotions. It is what results into being sensitive to the person's needs, likes and dislikes which then increases the feeling.

But what really builds marriage is not this feeling. For two people to build anything, there must be 'trust' which is what the 'love feeling' enables. It creates an atmosphere of unity whereby both party can be plain and genuine with each other. In the course of being plain with one another, the genuine information told each other is what builds trust among them.

This is why if the feeling from your subconscious mind is one sided, the feeling will die soon enough or result into heartbreak; because the person will not be plain with you the way you are with the person. So when both party are plain with each other, they tell each other their deepest secrets: their pasts and present mistakes and how they got to the point they were; then both party needs to , with the information gathered, consciously work on their relationship and future. Marriage is two people building a life together; that life must be built with wisdom. And wisdom is defined as the ability to use knowledge and experience to make good judgement (for the benefit of both of them). Hence until both party are open to default and then together decide to build a life, marriage is not built on a solid ground. And anytime during the course of marriage, if either of them decide to keep secret from each other, there is a problem looming in the marriage.

If you ever notice two people who were in love and then suddenly isn't feeling it anymore; its either there is no communication, less communication or deceit somewhere along the line. As much as its almost impossible to trace someone who did not tell you where they are headed, it is almost impossible to love a cunning person; but you can Infatuate though. Love is a good feeling but marriage is more than a feeling. If you marry for love, the day you two begin to see each other too often, over familiarity will kill the feeling in no time. I hope I did justice to this question? Thank you for reading through. 

Let me know what you think via my social media handle

@OlaOluwasanmi

Thanks once again, 

enjoy the rest of your day.




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